Journaling Can Be One Of The Best Things You Do In 2018

Young female is writing notes and planning her schedule.Journaling is so beneficial because it helps us track things that we are not normally aware of. So, if you ask yourself what drew you to the study of compassionate communication, at the core, it is a desire to expand your consciousness around the way you communicate, not just with other people, but also with yourself.

It’s a practice that we can develop for daily self-connection. However, the most difficult thing about developing a daily discipline in journaling is often the questions, Where do I start? How do I start? I have nothing to say!

So I’m going to offer a suggestion that I have learned over the years of teaching nonviolent communication in workshops, teaching creative writing, and teaching a program in unblocking creativity that combines NVC & The Artist’s Way based on the book by Julia Cameron.

When I sit down to do my daily journaling, I Have Easy Things to Put In Each Entry. I start with the basics of NVC: OFNR, otherwise known as Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests. So I simply start with the observations — Who? What? Where? When? Why? and How?

Then I move on to what I am feeling. Then I consider needs met and needs unmet. Then I check to do if there are any things I’d like to do that day to meet needs.

Here are some other suggestions:

Just a list of things I did that day.

What did I feel during the day?

What am I grateful for? List maybe 3 things.

What challenged me today?

How did I deal with that challenge?

What did I savor on this day?

If you’re longing to learn more about compassionate communication and the fundamentals, RMCCN has a 5-week workshop starting in February. For more information, check this link to The Art of Compassion. We hope to see you there!

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Stalking Yourself & Hunting Power

Destiny as a Knight Don Juan Matus taught us that a warrior holds all possibilities in her mind and then chooses to believe and acts on that belief. We are doing that all the time whether we are conscious of it or not. Fortunately there are ways to become more aware of our core limiting beliefs and the stories we tell ourselves. This is what don Juan called “stalking yourself,” or “hunting power.” You become like a jaguar on the trail of a river rat. The “river rat” is the core limiting belief.

As an example of this, I said prior to meeting someone for a date, “I hope that regardless of the outcome, we’ll at least become friends.” My intention was to express my interest while also releasing attachment to a specific outcome. His interpretation was something like this: “If she’s settling for friendship already, she must have low self-esteem.”

When I heard that, I felt a chuckle inside me. I am always in awe of the way two human beings can experience very different realities when the observations are the same.

As a warrior, my initial response is to take that in as information. There is no need to defend a view point. It offers an opportunity to see myself more clearly and to see myself through someone else’s eyes more clearly, and to see another person more clearly. I don’t need to decide what’s true. I can hold all possibilities in my mind at once. In this way, it allows me to “stalk myself,” to see if there is truth in what this person said. After all, if he is reflecting to me some truth that he sees, wouldn’t I rather know that? Or would I prefer to live in a deluded state?

Ultimately it’s not about choosing to believe his interpretation or mine; it’s simply about holding all possibilities at once and letting them do their alchemical work. If I “choose to believe” anything, it will likely be, “I can always open my heart to giving myself more unconditional love.” There is no right or wrong. There is nothing to defend. But we can choose to be open or choose to be closed.

In another situation, I observed my mother reacting to a request to attend my new online workshop, “Unleash Your Creativity!” which is a blending of NVC and The Artist’s Way. I want her to understand the work I do, but after 8 days and 8 short You Tube videos, she said, “I think I’m lost. I seem to be missing a lot of your daily videos. I’m trying to sort them and watch them in order and can’t.”

In the same email, she talked about how she has trouble communicating in two of her most important relationships. I suspect the reason she can’t “sort them and watch them,” and is considering dropping out of the workshop, is because it’s leading her into an Initiation, a Transformation, and that scares the crap out of her.

She’s a a trained mathematician, philosopher, and computer scientist who worked for Martin Marietta for 10 years, raised two small children on her own, overcame alcoholism, did two stints in the Peace Corp, hiked the Continental Divide trail, wrote and published two hiking guides, which are still used to this day, hikes the Colorado Trail every summer, and I could list many other significant accomplishments, yet she’s telling me she can’t sort 8 videos and watch them in order.

When she wants to through-hike a trail, she is phenomenally capable and competent. It’s simply a choice.

Without rejecting anything off-hand, we can look deeply at what we choose to tell ourselves. We can look deeply at what we choose to do.

That is how we stalk ourselves, stalk our river rats, and hunt power.

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Nonviolent CommunicationExploring The Fundamentals Of NVC Awareness and Creating A Path To Love And Fulfillment

When we transform the way we communicate, we transform our world: Create empowering compassionate relationships with yourself and others. Communicate clearly, effectively, and authentically. Transform adversaries into allies.

5 Wednesday beginning Feb. 7th, 6:30 to 9:00 p.m.
Jefferson Unitarian Church 14350 West 32nd Avenue Golden, CO 80401

Tuition $229.00 (Scholarships Available)
Registration Information and Online Enrollment

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A Nation Divided

grand-canyonMy B.A. degree is in political science and economics, with a double minor in history and international studies, which I chose because I have a deep abiding commitment to nonviolence in the world and thought I would work in government, particularly diplomacy. Instead I became a facilitator of nonviolent communication, working for the Rocky Mountain Compassionate Communication Network, and I am also working for a nonprofit organization in Beverly Hills that promotes the well-being of disenfranchised groups and individuals.


lettinggoAs I count down the days until I leave Denver to move to L.A. (2 days), I find myself in a spiritual practice of letting go and trusting abundance. Through this process I’ve become more aware of my relationship to material things and my physical environment. Each thing matters more because I have to make a commitment to it. Take it with me or leave it behind?

And it’s not just material objects, but time. The move requires of me that I be conscious of how I spend my time. So I have a much more conscious life, and a deeper commitment to everything in my life, every choice I make in my life.

My housing situation has been rather precarious for the past two years which has forced me into this practice of letting go since early 2015. I have moved from place to place to place, part of which included backpacking and camping for six weeks in the summer of 2015, some traveling and camping this year, and living with a host of roommates while I figured out what I wanted to do with my life, and then settled on moving to L.A.

Finally I have whittled my possessions down to what I can pack into my car and a few things I will store in a tiny corner of a friend’s garage. Living this way has helped me get very clear on what I actually use. That, in itself, has gone a long way to helping me let go of things I don’t really need.

How, you may ask, does this relate to Non-Violent Communication? Well, one of the fundamental principals of Non-Violent Communication is letting go of attachment to outcomes. Another is knowing what we need. And a third is being conscious of how we feel about things.

Communication isn’t just the words we speak. It’s about how we commune. It’s about how we relate. It’s about becoming more conscious of how we live in the world, how we impact the world, and how it impacts us.

The truth is, I’ve spent most of my life in a state of fear and scarcity, lacking trust and wanting to shore things up. This is true about the way I related to other people, to the world, to myself, and to life in general. I didn’t really trust or believe that my needs would be met. I didn’t feel safe or trust in abundance.

Over the years as I’ve studied and practiced Non-Violent Communication, I’ve come to discover that I am empowered to meet my needs, that I can feel safe, and that I can trust in abundance. But I had to believe these things first before I could make them real in my life.

So now, when I think of letting go… in any way… surrendering… letting go of attachment to outcome… it’s so much easier because I really do feel safe and empowered now. I really do trust in abundance. I trust in the flow. I trust that I can step up to the River of Abundance and quench my thirst, whatever it may be.

Whatever needs I have, I trust they can and will be met.

Self-Empowering Communication

mind-300x300Do you ever wonder why your life isn’t as fulfilling and life-affirming as you would like?

What happens for most people — because it’s what we’ve all learned to do — is to automatically blame someone or something around us. Or sometimes we blame ourselves.

Many, if not most, of us are operating out of a system of low self-worth. The program runs on automatic so we don’t always hear the basic programming, yet it’s framing our reality, telling us what we are worthy of in our lives and what we are not worthy of.

But there are no objective facts to back it up. It’s all a story. It’s all about the core beliefs embedded in our psyches, starting from birth.

Fortunately, there are ways to change the programming. We can learn how to communicate with ourselves and others in ways that empower us to become fully actualized and communicate with others so they can know our authentic selves. We can be who we came here to be!

If you long to open your heart and feel your deepest desires, transform blocks, unlock and release energy, increase the flow of abundance, empower yourself, and shift into the beauty of your needs to create more fulfillment in any area of your life, please join