Evon Davis

Why Everything Has Beauty In It

In A Separate Reality, don Juan says, “A warrior knows that her life will be over altogether too soon; she knows that she, as well as everybody else, is not going anywhere; she knows, because she sees, that nothing is more important than anything else.  Nothing being more important than anything else, she chooses any act, and acts it out as if it matters to her. Her controlled folly makes her say that what she does matters and makes her act as if it did, and yet she knows that it doesn’t; so when she fulfills her acts she retreats in peace, and whether her acts were good or bad, or worked or didn’t, is in no way part of her concern.

“But then if nothing really matters, as you ask me, how can I go on living?”

To understand what don Juan is saying here, it’s important to remember that he always says a warrior has unbending intent.  So the paradox is that we commit to an act with unbending intent, and yet at the same time are completely unattached to the outcome.

How can that be?

It is so, because when you know that you are mortal, you don’t have time to waste on self-pity, self-doubt, or regret.  A warrior cannot waste time on those things.  As long as you commit to your acts with unbending intent, that’s all that matters.  There is no such thing as a bad outcome or a failure.

A warrior is fully present in each moment and sees the beauty in that moment, whether you are picking up scrap metal or making fudge, it’s the act of being fully present that makes it successful, not the financial outcome.  A warrior makes the decision to do what he’s doing and he lets go of any doubts that he should be doing something different; he lets go of regrets about what he is not doing.  Life is too short for doubt or regret.

A warrior works as hard as she can for what she wants and if she doesn’t get it, she looks instead upon the beauty in what she has:  her freedom, a friend, the chance to make a new start with no personal history, setting upon a journey of discovery, creating the distance necessary to feel desire, a return to innocence.

When all outcomes are equal, the warrior is lusty for life.  There’s so much at the banquet.  A warrior never goes hungry.

It often astounds me that we spend so many years in school and yet never learn some of the most important and basic things we need in life to be healthy, functional adults.  One of the things we need to learn is how to establish healthy boundaries.  Instead, most people grow up being raised by dysfunctional adults who never learned to establish healthy boundaries of their own.

As Marshall Rosenberg, author of Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life, says, “We are raised in a domination culture with a domination language.”  People grow up learning roles of domination and submission, rather than empowerment.

When people are empowered, there are no masters or slaves; there is no room for manipulation of any kind.

Healthy boundaries are a necessary part of empowering oneself and others.  When we choose healthy boundaries, we are able to state our feelings and needs, and make requests with absolute clarity and decisiveness.  There is no emotional manipulation, no wishy-washiness, no passive-aggressive behavior, no game-playing, no leaking of one’s personal power; there are no mixed messages, no excuse-making avoidance tactics, no demands.  It is a simple statement:  this is who I am; this is what I need; these are my boundaries.

Sometimes we also need to add:  If you want to be in any kind of meaningful relationship with me, you will respect my boundaries.

But it’s up to each of us to tell other people what our boundaries are.  To assume that they can read our minds is self-defeating, and ultimately self-destructive.

Everyone has needs.  Healthy boundaries, and communicating them to others, helps us to get our needs met.

Needs and Neediness are polar opposites.  A person who is needy has no boundaries.  That’s why they are needy.  Because they have no boundaries, their needs never get met, hence they are constantly needy.  Like the obese person who suffers from malnutrition, the needy person craves nourishment that is never satiated because they don’t really know who they are, what they need, what they want, or how to communicate those things to other people.

A person with healthy boundaries is able to live a life of total honesty and integrity.  This kind of person doesn’t have to beg, manipulate, or convince others to meet his or her needs.  All they have to do is state very clearly:  this is who I am; this is what I need; this is what I want; these are my boundaries.

Don Juan said, “Personal power is everything.”  Know your boundaries.  State them clearly.  Empower yourself.

A friend took me to the Dharma Punx meditation on Friday night a week ago and now I’m totally hooked!

Ever since August 1st, I’ve been on an incredible journey of transformation (of course, I’ve probably said this a million other times in my life), but this time I’m serious!

Maybe I’m just astounded that one human being can continually shed her old self and be transformed.  I am so grateful to Pluto in Capricorn, Uranus in Aries, and Saturn in Libra.  Even though these planets have been squaring and opposing each other since 2008, they have pushed me to become my True Self and live my True Destiny.

On top of that, on August 1st, I had a progressed New Moon in my 8th house of karma and deep psychological transformation while the transiting New Moon was in Leo, my 2nd house of self-worth and personal assets, and my solar 9th house of consciousness expansion.

This past Friday night I went to the meditation again.  We did sitting meditation for 30 minutes, then Tony gave a talk on the 2nd Noble Truth which is about craving.  I remember craving something on the 19th of September.

But this is what shows me how far I’ve come.  I was able to let go of my craving so quickly and easily.  I didn’t even struggle to let it go.  It just evaporated.

There is an antidote to craving.  I call it “Being Connected to Abundance.”  When you’re connected to Abundance, you are fully in the present moment, swimming in the Abundant Universe.  There is no lack, only fullness and lushness.

I couldn’t have what I wanted in that moment, and yet I reveled in my Desire, my Craving, My Passion.  I was in love.

In THIS moment, there are other people and things to love.   I will partake in today’s Banquet and drink in fully the Abundant lushness of THIS moment.

The experience of Death & Rebirth takes one deep into the Underworld, across the Styx River, and into the Abyss. But the Dark Knights make it back. And when you make it back as a Dark Knight, you are always stronger.

The majority of us are unaware that our mind and spirit die all the time, constantly shedding old beliefs and acquiring new ones. The Dark Night of the Soul is about deep and profound transformation.

It is a transition to the next level of life. Nothing is destroyed, because nothing can be destroyed – there can only be transformation. Every change happens for a reason, and the Dark Night is a passage worth traversing, even as difficult as it can be.

The October 26th New Moon is in Scorpio, ruled by Pluto, God of the Underworld, so this New Moon is about Death & Rebirth.  If big changes are happening in your life, there is a reason for them. It’s not bad luck. It’s because you are the kind of person who’s psyche swims in deep rivers and you cannot ignore what is happening in your life. Focus on the great transformation that it brings.

In the Tarot of the Hermetic Tradition, almost all versions of the Death card show a symbol of resurrection or rebirth. To progress in life, our old self must die, just as a snake sheds its old skin to reveal a shiny new one. This is the message of the card: Death must be conquered by the regeneration of the soul (the psyche), and he who knows this shall return stronger and more integrated.

Our world is changing and we are dealing with issues such as transformation in the realm of relationships, death, regeneration, karma, soul mates, and intimate sexual relationships. This will also lead to transformation in the way we communicate, the way we relate to others, to ourselves, and to the world around us.

You may be going through profound changes. And as one who has been through the Dark Night of the Soul at least 3 times, I can tell you, it does get easier. Once you get through it, you will never regret the way it has changed you. This is the path of the Seeker, the path of the Warrior, and the path of the Dark Knight. When you feel the pain and discomfort of this death, just remember, you’re training to be a warrior.

Back in May 2008, my daughter bought me a pack of Goddess Oracle Cards.  I had a question I used to ask and every time I asked that question, I pulled the card with a picture of Artemis on it.  I didn’t like the answer, so I kept asking the same question, and kept getting the same answer.  By the time I had asked the question 6 times over the course of a few months and every single time pulled the Artemis card, my hair was standing on end.  It was clearly not a coincidence.  I needed to stop asking the same question and start asking a different question:  What does this answer mean?  Who is Artemis?

Artemis is free and unbounded, possessing an independent temperament and representing the feminine archetype of Nature & the Wild –virgin, pure, primitive. She’s concerned with matters of the outdoors, animals, and environmental protection. She’s practical, adventurous, athletic and values solitude. She symbolizes regenerative earth power over all living things. Artemis is armed with a bow and arrow as a protective goddess. Psychologically, she belongs to the category of ‘virgin’ goddess with her self-directed, autonomous, and focused consciousness.

Due to her well-integrated masculine energy and independence, Artemis does not need a man to complete her. She feels whole and satisfied in her own being. A predominately Artemis-type woman may enjoy a companion who will work alongside her in practical and spiritual pursuits. However, they would retain their strong and distinct identities in their fairly separate lives, coming together to enjoy a deep, intuitive connection with minimal ‘chatter’, preferring silence or meaningful conversation.

There are many more qualities, but this is the basic essence of Artemis.  As time went by, I made a point of learning everything I could about Artemis, eventually dedicating myself to her as her servant on December 6, 2008.  She has shown up as an important character in my last two novels, and over the years, the qualities, strength, and independent spirit of Artemis have become an integral part of me.

In creative writing we often set limitations for ourselves in order to open up new pathways to creativity that might not otherwise be explored.  This can often lead to some of the most amazing and beautiful prose, not to mention new pathways for the story.

I’m beginning to see that this is true in all areas of life.  It’s during times of limitation, challenge, and adversity that we learn the most, and it is also during these times that we find the deepest reservoir of strength within. Once you fully realize what you’re capable of doing, and the full extent of the strength you possess, you will know you can rely on yourself in times of need. You will be forever stronger for having experienced the limitation.

When something in your life is limited or taken away from you, your imagination can take flight. No one can rein in your mind (unless you let them). The greater the limitation, the more your mind can be set free to explore new pathways. What you are today is in part due to those limitations. This is when your character is honed and exceptional personal growth occurs.

The warrior embraces struggle, challenges, change, and limitation.  If she does not have a challenge, she seeks one out.

Don Juan said that a warrior is grateful for a petty tyrant because the challenge leads to sublime states of consciousness and impeccability for the warrior.  I’ve come to realize that a petty tyrant can be a person or a situation.  It is simply any kind of challenge, regardless of the form it takes.

Having experienced many limitations, struggles, and challenges in my life, including now, I’m able to reap the rewards of a lush life.  I have learned to stay connected to Abundance, trust Providence, and be guided by Spirit.  Walking to a local theater last night in a lush city and watching a film about Paris, another lush city I had the good fortune to live in one summer, I was in that sublime state of consciousness, rapturous, nearly overwhelmed by the lushness of life.  And all because of the limitations that opened new pathways.

Don Juan said to Carlos Castaneda, “We only have two alternatives; we either take everything for sure and real, or we don’t.  If we follow the first, we end up bored to death with ourselves and with the world.  If we follow the second and erase personal history, we create a fog around us, a very exciting and mysterious state in which nobody knows where the rabbit will pop out, not even ourselves.”

For me, this is about being willing to take risks.  A warrior is courageous and willing to take risks.  The aspect of erasing personal history means that just because I was X yesterday, doesn’t mean I am today.  Maybe I’m Y today.

Don’t assume anything about me.  Don’t take anything for granted.  You may think you know who I am; you may think you have me all figured out; but I can guarantee you don’t.

Because I am an impeccable warrior, you can trust my honesty and integrity.  But that doesn’t mean I’m not as fluid as the water.  I may surprise you.

“When nothing is for sure we remain alert, perennially on our toes.  It is more exciting not to know which bush the rabbit is hiding behind than to behave as if we know everything.”

I definitely don’t know everything… and I prefer it that way… it means I’m willing to takes risks, step into the Unknown, live in the Mystery, live in Lila.

Don Juan said, “A warrior takes his lot, whatever it may be, and accepts it in ultimate humbleness.  He accepts in humbleness what he is, not as grounds for regret but as a living challenge.  It takes time for every one of us to understand that point and fully live it.”  (Tales of Power, page 19)

This passage felt relevant to me this evening.  I’m sitting at a friend’s house on the south side of town waiting to pick up my daughter at 9:00pm.  My friend’s home is beautiful, but I’m cold (I’m always cold) and I’m tired, looking forward to getting home so I can go into my bedroom, turn on the radiator, crawl into bed, and fall asleep.  How lovely that would be.

But that’s not my lot at the moment.  I’ve been thinking lately of the winter cold as warrior’s training.  An impeccable warrior doesn’t complain; she accepts her lot in all humbleness.  I think there are a few reasons for this.  One is that complaining does no good.  It only drains us of energy.  It’s less energy- consuming to be at peace. 

Another is that an impeccable warrior is always conscious not to take anything for granted.  I am so blessed.  How could I possibly complain? 

Finally, to accept the present reality helps us to become stronger.  It’s not about being a prisoner.  It’s about being free.  I am free to be here or leave.  If I choose to stay, then I take full responsibility for that.  There is no room left for complaining. 

“To change our idea of the world is the crux of sorcery.” (Tales of Power, page 13)

When we change our idea of the world, we change ourselves.  And when we change ourselves, we change our idea of the world.

He also said, “If one is to succeed in anything, the success must come gently, with a great deal of effort but with no stress or obession.” (Tales of Power, page 12)

I remind myself of this as I work through the revisions of my latest novel.  Obviously I want to be finished, so when I get feedback saying that I need to work on the relationship between my main character, Trinity, and her mentor, Artemis, I feel frustrated because I think it’s fine the way it is.  Am I missing something?  If so, what is it, and why can’t I see it?  Am I blind to my own writing or does the reader just not get the relationship I’m trying to create?  (I was going for the sort of feeling like that between Ged and Arren in The Farthest Shore by Ursula K. LeGuin). 

So it’s back to the basics.  I need to read The Farthest Shore again while reading my own manuscript and see if I got the feeling I was striving for.  Even so, it’s possible it could be better.  I just need to be patient, put in a great deal of effort, and not get stressed out or obsess about it.  That’s how an impeccable warrior moves through her world. 

For more on The Warrior-Goddess Chronicles, please visit: http://www.thewarrior-goddess.blogspot.com/

NaNoWriMo has been such an incredible experience. There are only 5 days left and I’m on target to finish on time. I’m 42,500 words into the new book, so only need another 7,500 to finish.

Yesterday I went to 24-Hour Fitness and I was reading Tales of Power by Castaneda. I like to read something thought-provoking while working out; otherwise it’s kind of boring. Anyway, don Juan said to be a warrior, “You must push yourself beyond your limits all the time.” Castaneda said that was “insane.” But don Juan said, “There are lots of things that you do now which would have seemed insane to you ten years ago. Those things themselves did not change, but your idea of yourself changed; what was impossible before is perfectly possible now.”

It struck me how true that is. This writing marathon has really shown me something about myself that I wouldn’t have believed even a year ago. I suppose I had enough belief in myself at the beginning of the month to commit myself to writing a 50,000-word novel in 30 days. But it’s only now on the 25th day, five days to go and I’m on target to finish, that I know I was capable to doing it.

Now it makes me curious. Well, if I could do that, what else could I do? Then I started thinking back on things I’ve done, that at one time I didn’t believe I was capable of, but it turns out I was. Not sure what I’ll do next, but it’s got me thinking about it.