Evon Davis

Why Everything Has Beauty In It

In A Separate Reality, don Juan says, “A warrior knows that her life will be over altogether too soon; she knows that she, as well as everybody else, is not going anywhere; she knows, because she sees, that nothing is more important than anything else.  Nothing being more important than anything else, she chooses any act, and acts it out as if it matters to her. Her controlled folly makes her say that what she does matters and makes her act as if it did, and yet she knows that it doesn’t; so when she fulfills her acts she retreats in peace, and whether her acts were good or bad, or worked or didn’t, is in no way part of her concern.

“But then if nothing really matters, as you ask me, how can I go on living?”

To understand what don Juan is saying here, it’s important to remember that he always says a warrior has unbending intent.  So the paradox is that we commit to an act with unbending intent, and yet at the same time are completely unattached to the outcome.

How can that be?

It is so, because when you know that you are mortal, you don’t have time to waste on self-pity, self-doubt, or regret.  A warrior cannot waste time on those things.  As long as you commit to your acts with unbending intent, that’s all that matters.  There is no such thing as a bad outcome or a failure.

A warrior is fully present in each moment and sees the beauty in that moment, whether you are picking up scrap metal or making fudge, it’s the act of being fully present that makes it successful, not the financial outcome.  A warrior makes the decision to do what he’s doing and he lets go of any doubts that he should be doing something different; he lets go of regrets about what he is not doing.  Life is too short for doubt or regret.

A warrior works as hard as she can for what she wants and if she doesn’t get it, she looks instead upon the beauty in what she has:  her freedom, a friend, the chance to make a new start with no personal history, setting upon a journey of discovery, creating the distance necessary to feel desire, a return to innocence.

When all outcomes are equal, the warrior is lusty for life.  There’s so much at the banquet.  A warrior never goes hungry.

I have a confession to make.  I don’t really know what Occupy Wall Street is all about.  I think it’s about people who feel disenfranchised, alienated, oppressed, like they’re not getting their fair share because the rich people have already swallowed it all up.  I think they’re angry about the corporate bailout and corporate welfare.

I could go to the effort of finding out exactly what it’s about, but I’m not going to, and I’ll tell you why.  I majored in political science and economics because I had a belief that the right people in government and other “positions of power” could actually make a difference.  What I discovered is that often the established institutions, though needed when they were created, become straight-jackets that imprison us in conditioned patterns of behavior and thoughts that no longer serve us.

Hence why I became a social-anarchist, though I want to be very clear about what I mean.  I believe in peaceful evolution NOT violent revolution.  Anarchism is a philosophy based on the belief that human beings are capable of governing themselves.  The social part of social-anarchism is the recognition that we exist in social networks and social systems because they benefit us.  We do not exist in a vacuum.  Every moment of our lives in some way connects us to other human beings in inter-dependent relationships.  I need all of you human beings in order to be the person that I am.  On my own, I’d be a groveling animal living in a cave.  Most people would be.  Even the skills you’ve learned came from other human beings, the tools we use, everything.

When we are honest about that inter-dependence, we realize that our well-being depends on the well-being of all the other human beings around us.  That’s what being a social animal is all about.  We are social animals.  If you don’t believe it, try living in a cave, without any supplies, far away from society for several months.

There are two primary reasons why I haven’t bothered to investigate Occupy Wall Street.  The first is because, in my opinion, they are looking at the wrong issue.  Money is an illusion.  It’s not real.  The illusion of money has such a grip on people that they are blind to what IS real.  It is a collective illusion, a very powerful one, I’ll admit.  But still an illusion.  As long as people continue to believe it is real, they are imprisoned in that straight-jacket.  The argument about who has the money just goes on and on and people forget to look at where their true power lies.

The source of that power is infinite, so I can’t list all the possibilities here.  But one source of power IS being exhibited in this incredible event –  Occupy Wall Street — which is the peaceful assembly of massive numbers of people focused on one cause.  That is extremely powerful.

If they/we could take that power and focus it in a truly productive and creative direction, think what could be accomplished?

So I don’t care much whether or not my views are in alignment with those for or against Occupy Wall Street.  What matters to me is seeing the people take hold of their power.  Most of the time — sorry to say this but I think it’s true — Americans are so zoned out on their escapist pleasure trips they don’t bother to do much of anything except go through the motions they’ve been told to go through like good little sheep. (Ouch!  Did I really say that?)

So, the bottom line is, I’m not going to take a position in a debate about who’s got the money because it’s an illusion that keeps us locked in old ways of thinking.  But I do admire those who are willing to take a stand, who are willing to step away from their televisions, leave the comfort of their homes, and peacefully assemble in massive numbers to focus their attention on one cause.

THAT IS POWER.

Wealth is an internal experience rather than an external one. You are wealthy based on how you feel, rather than how much you have. The feeling of wealth comes from a deep trust that your needs will always be met. It is a feeling of being free and empowered.

So ask yourself, What is wealth? What is money? What is currency? Some people believe it is the tangible stuff that they hold in their hands, but without the meaning that humans give to currency, it is nothing but bits of confetti paper, bits of metal, and colorful bits of plastic. The value of currency is in the meaning that humans give to things. Money represents energy, like an electrical current. It is the flow that makes it currency. And in our electronic age, money is pure energy, the electronic blips that flow and pass from one financial account to another, lighting up the world.

See that energy flowing throughout the world, flowing toward you, through you, and on to others in meaningful ways that catalyze us to fulfill our potential.

Yet even those electronic blips are only there to convince those who still do not know what true wealth is. The greatest wealth known to humankind comes from the Creative Source. It is human ingenuity. Money in its truest most basic form is not confetti, or bits of metal, or colorful bits of plastic, or even electronic blips. It is human ingenuity, and because you have infinite access to the Creative Source, the well of human ingenuity, you are infinitely wealthy.

While others waste their time and energy arguing over bits of confetti — Do we have enough? Should we create some more? Should we charge interest on it? Should we borrow or pay it back? — you can simply smile at their child’s game and move on to what is real. Real wealth.

Now ask yourself, what is real? What is true and meaningful in your life? We have been given all the wealth we will ever need to live a fulfilling and joyful life on planet Earth and for each of us to fulfill our True Purpose. You have access to all the knowledge and power of the universe. You do not need confetti or electronic blips in order to catalyze and motivate yourself to fulfill your true potential or live your True Calling. You give yourself permission to follow your True Calling and fulfill your dreams, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

We don’t have time for childish distractions or to be blinded by small-minded imaginary problems because we know that we are only going to be here for this one short lifetime and we want to make every act count.

Go to the true source of wealth and drink of that spring as much and as deeply as you like. That source is the Creative Source and it feeds your ingenuity. As much as you need, you have access to an infinite source of wealth and currency. You have access to the real source of wealth, the real currency… human ingenuity. Drink deeply from that spring. Whenever you feel the need or the desire, you are invited, you are joyously welcomed to drink deeply from that source. It will not only feed your own creativity and ingenuity, filling your bank account to overflowing, but you have access to the ingenuity of every other human being on this planet, both living and passed.

And that is how we will evolve beyond this current level of mass consciousness. People who know what real wealth, money, and currency are. People who know that their bank accounts are always overflowing. People who know that there is no such thing as lack or scarcity. There is no real financial crisis. It is merely a distraction, a child’s game for those who are not quite ready to see the truth.

But you see the truth. You now see that you have an infinite source of wealth at your fingertips and you can use that wealth to catalyze yourself to the fulfillment of your purpose on this earth.

A friend took me to the Dharma Punx meditation on Friday night a week ago and now I’m totally hooked!

Ever since August 1st, I’ve been on an incredible journey of transformation (of course, I’ve probably said this a million other times in my life), but this time I’m serious!

Maybe I’m just astounded that one human being can continually shed her old self and be transformed.  I am so grateful to Pluto in Capricorn, Uranus in Aries, and Saturn in Libra.  Even though these planets have been squaring and opposing each other since 2008, they have pushed me to become my True Self and live my True Destiny.

On top of that, on August 1st, I had a progressed New Moon in my 8th house of karma and deep psychological transformation while the transiting New Moon was in Leo, my 2nd house of self-worth and personal assets, and my solar 9th house of consciousness expansion.

This past Friday night I went to the meditation again.  We did sitting meditation for 30 minutes, then Tony gave a talk on the 2nd Noble Truth which is about craving.  I remember craving something on the 19th of September.

But this is what shows me how far I’ve come.  I was able to let go of my craving so quickly and easily.  I didn’t even struggle to let it go.  It just evaporated.

There is an antidote to craving.  I call it “Being Connected to Abundance.”  When you’re connected to Abundance, you are fully in the present moment, swimming in the Abundant Universe.  There is no lack, only fullness and lushness.

I couldn’t have what I wanted in that moment, and yet I reveled in my Desire, my Craving, My Passion.  I was in love.

In THIS moment, there are other people and things to love.   I will partake in today’s Banquet and drink in fully the Abundant lushness of THIS moment.

In creative writing we often set limitations for ourselves in order to open up new pathways to creativity that might not otherwise be explored.  This can often lead to some of the most amazing and beautiful prose, not to mention new pathways for the story.

I’m beginning to see that this is true in all areas of life.  It’s during times of limitation, challenge, and adversity that we learn the most, and it is also during these times that we find the deepest reservoir of strength within. Once you fully realize what you’re capable of doing, and the full extent of the strength you possess, you will know you can rely on yourself in times of need. You will be forever stronger for having experienced the limitation.

When something in your life is limited or taken away from you, your imagination can take flight. No one can rein in your mind (unless you let them). The greater the limitation, the more your mind can be set free to explore new pathways. What you are today is in part due to those limitations. This is when your character is honed and exceptional personal growth occurs.

The warrior embraces struggle, challenges, change, and limitation.  If she does not have a challenge, she seeks one out.

Don Juan said that a warrior is grateful for a petty tyrant because the challenge leads to sublime states of consciousness and impeccability for the warrior.  I’ve come to realize that a petty tyrant can be a person or a situation.  It is simply any kind of challenge, regardless of the form it takes.

Having experienced many limitations, struggles, and challenges in my life, including now, I’m able to reap the rewards of a lush life.  I have learned to stay connected to Abundance, trust Providence, and be guided by Spirit.  Walking to a local theater last night in a lush city and watching a film about Paris, another lush city I had the good fortune to live in one summer, I was in that sublime state of consciousness, rapturous, nearly overwhelmed by the lushness of life.  And all because of the limitations that opened new pathways.

Don Juan said to Carlos Castaneda, “We only have two alternatives; we either take everything for sure and real, or we don’t.  If we follow the first, we end up bored to death with ourselves and with the world.  If we follow the second and erase personal history, we create a fog around us, a very exciting and mysterious state in which nobody knows where the rabbit will pop out, not even ourselves.”

For me, this is about being willing to take risks.  A warrior is courageous and willing to take risks.  The aspect of erasing personal history means that just because I was X yesterday, doesn’t mean I am today.  Maybe I’m Y today.

Don’t assume anything about me.  Don’t take anything for granted.  You may think you know who I am; you may think you have me all figured out; but I can guarantee you don’t.

Because I am an impeccable warrior, you can trust my honesty and integrity.  But that doesn’t mean I’m not as fluid as the water.  I may surprise you.

“When nothing is for sure we remain alert, perennially on our toes.  It is more exciting not to know which bush the rabbit is hiding behind than to behave as if we know everything.”

I definitely don’t know everything… and I prefer it that way… it means I’m willing to takes risks, step into the Unknown, live in the Mystery, live in Lila.

Don Juan often said that the world is a weird place.  For him, that meant the world is awesome and mysterious.  To experience it that way is to be curious and creative.  One’s mind must be open to let the senses be flooded with whatever exists and try not to be closed off to anything.

My friend David recently said that the purpose of consciousness is to harvest experience.  He said that we are gods in kindergarten, which I think is an apt description of human beings.  Apparently Yogananda said that if one’s mind were open to the awesome mysteriousness of the universe, all experience would be equal.  Making love would be no better than being under the axe of a serial killer because both bring forth a feeling of awe that such a thing could even be happening!

I think of it as living in Lila.  Lila is divine playfulness, a complete openness to the pure creativity of the universe.  I’m not saying it’s easy.  I often feel myself closing off, but I am trying to teach myself to have a curious, open attitude toward my feelings of wanting to close off, just observing and asking myself the question, “Isn’t this interesting?  Look at the way I am getting irritated and closing down because….”

For me to stay open and live in Lila, I like to look for these kinds of reminders, talking to my friend David or reading Castaneda’s books.  Recently my life has become very open and I have been in the midst of a significant transistion.  Transition often brings transformation.  I hope to transform in such a way that I become more open, more in awe, more curious, live in Lila, and tap into the Creative Source of the Universe.

One of the mysterious and awesome things to happen recently was meeting Joanna Whitney, a painter who also teaches at Colorado Free University.  She and I are planning to do weekend workshops, combining painting and writing and general creative renewal.

As I often like to say, Imagination is humanity’s greatest form of magic.  We can all use a little creative renewal, a little more magic in our lives, a little more openness, awe, curiousity, and mystery.

Today I’m reading Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein.  I read it when I was about 20 and have wanted to read it again for ages, but finally got a bug up my butt yesterday and went to the bookstore and bought a paperback copy.  I haven’t been able to put it down since.

This brings up the topic of money, of which there was no Martian equivalent; a perspective I admire immensely.  Those who know me, know that I have mixed feelings about money.  I wrote a blog called “Money, the Greatest Hoax Ever Perpetrated on Humankind.”  http://evondavis.com/blog2/2010/11/17/money-the-greatest-hoax-ever-perpetrated-on-humankind/

I call it that because it’s a mental straight-jacket.  Yet at the same time, virtually everyone believes in it, so you have to walk around as if you’re wearing that mental straight-jacket, whether you are or not.  In other words, you have to act like you believe in it, even if you don’t.  Just like an African bushman can’t walk around New York City without his clothes on, whether he believes in wearing clothes or not.

Fortunately, don Juan taught Castaneda a concept called “Controlled Folly” in which you play a role as if it were real.  The trick is to play the role without becoming lost and imprisoned by it.

What I mean by being “straight-jacketed” is that we’ve been imprisoned by our beliefs because in this system we are taught to believe that we HAVE TO sell our labor for money in order to survive.  But if people could see through the beliefs that have been fed to them since birth, they’d see that it’s not true.  It’s a choice.  People choose what they want to believe and then reinforce each other in their beliefs.  Then, because it’s what everyone believes, we have to play along with it.  Controlled folly is a way of turning it into a game.  This keeps our minds free, while on the outside, we pretend to take the game seriously.

I’m starting to put my belief more in Spirit than in Money.  Who could have predicted that I would be able to leave CBS and follow my heart for the past two years?  I had a little savings and a lot of faith.  I believe it’s the faith that’s gotten me this far.  Without it, I never would have been able to overcome my fears in order to listen to my heart.  Some would call it coincidence — that I’ve not only survived, but thrived.  I don’t believe it’s random.  And there was no way to predict it with logic before the fact.  That’s what I call magic.

But I admit, I haven’t completely shifted alliances… still seem to need money to pay car insurance, phone bill, website hosting bill, gas, groceries, etc.  So in 2011, I will play this game called “Controlled Folly” and see where Spirit leads me.  I will play the game as if I really believe in it, as if I were really wearing the mental straight-jacket.  Inside I’ll know the truth — that it’s just a game.  If I took it seriously, I fear I’d become depressed, or at least as neurotic and stressed out as most people find themselves.

NaNoWriMo has been such an incredible experience. There are only 5 days left and I’m on target to finish on time. I’m 42,500 words into the new book, so only need another 7,500 to finish.

Yesterday I went to 24-Hour Fitness and I was reading Tales of Power by Castaneda. I like to read something thought-provoking while working out; otherwise it’s kind of boring. Anyway, don Juan said to be a warrior, “You must push yourself beyond your limits all the time.” Castaneda said that was “insane.” But don Juan said, “There are lots of things that you do now which would have seemed insane to you ten years ago. Those things themselves did not change, but your idea of yourself changed; what was impossible before is perfectly possible now.”

It struck me how true that is. This writing marathon has really shown me something about myself that I wouldn’t have believed even a year ago. I suppose I had enough belief in myself at the beginning of the month to commit myself to writing a 50,000-word novel in 30 days. But it’s only now on the 25th day, five days to go and I’m on target to finish, that I know I was capable to doing it.

Now it makes me curious. Well, if I could do that, what else could I do? Then I started thinking back on things I’ve done, that at one time I didn’t believe I was capable of, but it turns out I was. Not sure what I’ll do next, but it’s got me thinking about it.