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Taking Reality in Small Doses

Radical ForgivenessWhy do we need to take reality in small doses?  Because we are attached to our old stories.  In Radical Forgiveness, author Colin Tipping calls our old stories our B.S. (Belief System).  The B.S. is what runs our lives. If you want to know what you really believe, look at your life.  That’s what you manifest… what you believe.

On page 255, he says, “So, while you want to be firm with yourself in separating what is real from what you have made up, be gentle with yourself and allow time to release these beliefs.”

Here’s one I’m coming to terms with:  I’m afraid that if I get into a long-term committed relationship I’ll end up feeling bored.  The original pain goes back to relationships over the course of about 10 years, say ages 23-33.  During those years, I had 4 long-term committed relationships, 3 that each lasted approximately 3 years (2 of them were engagements), and one that lasted a year.  All of them I broke off because I got bored.

Following the last of those relationships, I was only attracted to men who were “unavailable,” meaning either married, living in another state or another country, or psychologically unavailable (men who have fear of commitment).  That way I feel safe.  I don’t have to confront my own fears.  I can just project my fears onto them and conclude that I’m the victim.

As I explored an intimate relationship in 2012, I observed myself confronting my own fears of intimacy, commitment, and boredom, like wanting to pull away or otherwise sabotage the relationship.  But I just observed myself and tried to be as honest with myself as I could be.

Since he was my mirror and had the same issues (fear of intimacy, commitment, and boredom), it got pretty trippy.  In Journey of the Heart, John Welwood says that relationship is a journey not a destination.  So I’m just enjoying the journey and the adventure in the Here & Now, grateful that we were able to transcend our “trips” enough to stay friends and continue on the journey of exploration.

We have to take our consciousness evolution at our own speed.  Take time to really get in touch with yourself, your own feelings, needs, and personal stories (your B.S.).  But more than anything, enjoy the journey and have fun!

Bon Voyage!

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