I have always put a high value on honesty, trust, and integrity, but in the past month I realized that they are so important to me, I cannot live without them in myself, in my life, and in my relationships.
When I was a child, I was in an on-going abusive situation and it left a deep wound in my being. Fundamentally, the woundedness was about not having a voice. I cried out for help. No one heard me. No one protected me. I lived in a world of lies. No one could be trusted.
These qualities of honesty, trust, and integrity are the qualities of a relationship where the Christ Spirit, unconditional love, is present. That’s what I need and want in all my of relationships.
To open oneself at this level requires vulnerability, but fear takes over. The challenge is to not give into the fear. Jesus called his disciples to walk on water. He led the way, but they faltered; they didn’t have faith; they gave into fear.
If honesty, trust, integrity, and vulnerability are qualities of Christ, the Angel of Light, then fear, deception, lack of trust and lack of integrity are qualities of Satan, the Angel of Darkness, Deception, and Delusion.
When we trust that we can be vulnerable, when we have faith, we stay above water, and have faith that our needs will be met. We don’t need to hide anything; we don’t need to lie; we don’t need to deceive others or live fragmented lives, rather we can be in our integrity, all aspects of our lives integrated, nothing hidden in the dark depths of Satan’s realm.
God is sending us messages all the time. Earlier this year I read a book titled, Radical Honesty, in which the author Brad Blanton brazenly says, “We are all manipulative, codependent, lying survivors. ” We’re afraid to be honest; we’re afraid to trust; we hide the truth; we invite the Angel of Darkness in to run our lives instead of bringing in the Christ Spirit, the Angel of Light.
Who is in your heart? Are you being honest? Do you have faith that if you speak the truth, God will take care of you? Do you trust? Do you live in integrity? Or do you hide the truth from others, allowing your ego to manipulate others in codependent relationships because you think it’s the only way you can survive?
The honest answers to these questions will tell you who is running your life. If anything is hidden in darkness, have faith, stay above water, and bring it into the light.